As you may, or may not, know, my house has some pretty serious issues.  We own the house, so these are our problems.  Not a landlord’s.

The roof leaks, the well leaks, the beams under the floor are rotting, and the septic system is failing.  Pretty serious stuff for a home-owner.

Now, these things bug me.  I don’t want to live in a dilapidated house.  Not what I want for myself.

Ideally, this would be something my husband and I would talk about and work out a plan to fix and actually make progress in some way toward taking care of these things.

However, in reality, nothing.

There really is no point in even bringing any of this up because, one, he already knows the problems exist, two, he doesn’t make enough money to fix them, three, he doesn’t have any inclination to try to earn more money, and, four, even if we had the money, I seriously doubt he would do anything about the problems.  (I speak from experience on #4.)

I got a job so I could get the roof fixed, but now that I am more serious about maybe leaving, I don’t know if I should spend the money to fix the roof.

I guess I am writing this because I wish we could talk about these things.  But I know it would be fruitless.   I don’t know where I am trying to go with this.

Oh, well.

This entry was posted in emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Fruitless

  1. Again, I feel like I am reading my own life through your words.
    If I were you, I would say screw the roof, let it fall down. In fact, let the whole dam house fall down.
    Save your money and start making a plan. Hopefully someday soon you can have a pretty little house of your own and you will no longer have to worry about all the things that are wrong with this one.
    You are a strong lady, do not ever forget that!

  2. Thank you! Thank you so much!

  3. I agree with betweenyesterdayandtoday forget the roof and things. Make your plan and get out. If my kids were that old and I had a job I would have left a long time ago. It got to the point that when I finally told him to leave I told him I didn’t want him to pay child support or anything else until he got a job if he would just go and get out of the house. I would wait until he got a job to file for support for the kids. I don’t even have a job but I can not have him in my house any more. I told him the only thing was that he had to make sure the kids got to and from school gas wise because it was a 50 mile round trip. And that if they needed something for school I couldn’t buy to get it for them since he has his unemployment coming in. But that I wouldn’t go for some set lump some amount every month until he got a job.

    You should do ok you have a job save money for deposits and find something you can afford for you and your girls. Even if it is just a two bedroom an they have to share a room for a little while. They know what is going on they told you and you know they are unhappy too. I am sure that they would be more than happy to share a room if it meant getting out of there. You all would have a nice place that didn’t need fixed. if something did break it would be up to the owner to fix it not for you to worry about. I have had my house for 6 years now as soon as i go back to work me and the kids are moving. It is a mess and needs a ton of work done to it too. Everyone says oh but you will be renting again. I really don’t care at this point I would rather rent and let someone else have the hassle of repairs and things. Be like a huge weight lifted off me to not have that to worry about.

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