Ugh!

So, last night, my younger daughter needed a little extra attention.  She often gets discouraged and depressed, which I know is not uncommon for teen-age girls.  But I do believe that this is made much worse when girls do not have good relationships with their daddies.

It is somewhat draining on me when I have to try to comfort her and so, when I am done, I always wish there was someone to comfort me.  There’s not.  Every time this happens, my husband has something completely unimportant to say when I come into our bedroom.  Last night, it was joke that Dave Ramsey made.  Cute, but, honestly, I wanted to scream.  I have this extra weight on me because of his lack and then he always seems to add insult to injury by his inaneness.

Then he said, the other week I bought those lightweight work shirts at Goodwill and I haven’t seen them since.  Where are they?  Well, I had just finished washing them, so I told him where they were.

I was already in my nightgown when I asked him if he put away my chickens.  Now, he usually puts away my chickens.  I’m not sure how much he does it to help me; sometimes I think he just likes my chickens.  Anyhow, he usually puts them away, but not always.   So I have to ask him every day if he put away my chickens, so if he didn’t put them away, I can go do it.  He’d already been in bed about forty-five minutes when I finally got there, so I put on my muck boots and put away my chickens.  I told them that I wished I could just sleep out there with them.  They like me and make soft little sounds to me when I come to tuck them in and pet them good night.

You know,  last night I came home from work so tired.  It was busy and somewhat stressful at the store and I haven’t been sleeping well and I was tired. Oh, and I have poison ivy. I was wondering what it would be like to come home and feel comforted and loved and cared for.  I can’t even imagine what that is like.  I’ve been doing this empty thing too long.

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This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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