So, last night, my younger daughter needed a little extra attention.  She often gets discouraged and depressed, which I know is not uncommon for teen-age girls.  But I do believe that this is made much worse when girls do not have good relationships with their daddies.

It is somewhat draining on me when I have to try to comfort her and so, when I am done, I always wish there was someone to comfort me.  There’s not.  Every time this happens, my husband has something completely unimportant to say when I come into our bedroom.  Last night, it was joke that Dave Ramsey made.  Cute, but, honestly, I wanted to scream.  I have this extra weight on me because of his lack and then he always seems to add insult to injury by his inaneness.

Then he said, the other week I bought those lightweight work shirts at Goodwill and I haven’t seen them since.  Where are they?  Well, I had just finished washing them, so I told him where they were.

I was already in my nightgown when I asked him if he put away my chickens.  Now, he usually puts away my chickens.  I’m not sure how much he does it to help me; sometimes I think he just likes my chickens.  Anyhow, he usually puts them away, but not always.   So I have to ask him every day if he put away my chickens, so if he didn’t put them away, I can go do it.  He’d already been in bed about forty-five minutes when I finally got there, so I put on my muck boots and put away my chickens.  I told them that I wished I could just sleep out there with them.  They like me and make soft little sounds to me when I come to tuck them in and pet them good night.

You know,  last night I came home from work so tired.  It was busy and somewhat stressful at the store and I haven’t been sleeping well and I was tired. Oh, and I have poison ivy. I was wondering what it would be like to come home and feel comforted and loved and cared for.  I can’t even imagine what that is like.  I’ve been doing this empty thing too long.

This entry was posted in covert abuse, emotional abuse, marriage, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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